22 Thurs 81
Wonderful women’s service at Trinity – new minister Joan Platt – like her very much. Completely relaxed about me sobbing my way through the Nicene Creed – “it gets some people that way!” Went to the Fordham party with Donna – Dr Dohrn seems to think I could be pulled out of the Excel program fairly soon. Introduced Donna to T’s roommate – she was nervous he was supercilious. I give up matchmaking. T (due in ½ hr driving the ’65 Chrysler Imperial from Phila) said people create their own hells of loneliness. Sat 24 Jan 81 Off to Trenton library with T – he studies and I enjoy Caroline Gordon’s How to Read A Novel. We look at washers and driers – you really can’t get anything for under $700 so we buy a heated bedpad instead. I read the Denatured Novel – then we have chicken soup in bed watching Desk Set. Thurs 29 Jan 81 I like the women’s service even better than the discussion afterwards. Stress interview with Book Forum – wanted me to “throw out 1,000 ideas really fast.” Became completely tongue tied – hadn’t expected that – thought we’d talk about what THEY need. As a result I looked like an idiot. Could barely smile. Awful. I came up with my “Impure Women” concept – Mansfield, Plath, Woolf – that was it. Sounded tired even to me. Obviously never hear from them again. Imagine me being taken for an academic! Hilarious. Fast registrations at both Fordham & Guilders – only had to pay ½ when I said I was getting a loan. Dinner with Charlene but I rushed home missing T – it was 12:10 and he waited up for me. Delirious marital sex all over the place. Fri 30 Jan 81 Terrible arguments with T about Episcopalianism vs Quakerism. He’s not looking forward to Epis dance. Sat 31 Jan 81 T in his wedding tuxedo – me in a blue bridesmaid’s dress at the Episc. Dance. I especially enjoyed meeting Joan Platt’s husb Peter. Also the new curate – slight pretty girl. (The poor Catholics!) Connected with my parents’ old friends the Macdonalds. Bob McD hilariously funny. T had a great time; didn’t scream at anyone. We left at 11. Sun 1 Feb 81 Met Dom on train – T in “correction mode.” He never does this at home. I called him Mr. Persnickety. Wait a solid hr at Lois’ house till we can leave for Chadd’s Ford. I eat too many cookies while marveling at Lois’ ability to estrange people. She goes on and on about how the Garden of Eden is a birth myth – this has never been noticed in the history of time by anyone but her. We don’t argue because that would trigger an endless “scene” – she would make us sit there for an eternity unable to move while she beats us into submission. That’s the kind of audience she prefers - cowed. Ricardo wiggles his eyebrows at us behind her back, gesturing “Please don’t say anything so we can just get out of here and have a nice day.” She goes on and on in her babygirl voice while batting her eyelashes until you want to smack her. The worst thing that could ever happen to her in life would be to meet herself – neither would ever give ground until they both died, like a Greek myth. If she read any actual books she would not be so impressed with her own ideas – she hasn’t gotten through a whole one the entire time I’ve known her. She’s still reeling from the Deep Truths of The Road Less Travelled – gave everyone copies so they can see how terrible others are –it’s never her. Finally we get out of there and take both grandmothers out to dinner in Chadd’s Ford to celebrate their birthdays and hav a very nice meal. I’m bore though so eat too much. Reading the last vol of Kathleen Raine’s autobio – she’s having a rough time with Christianity and there’s no comfort I can give her.
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Alysse Aallyn
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