Brockton, Ohio – Mon Sept 7 - 64
Diary you are the most recent diary in a long line. Today I took all my diaries out of the linen closet (up high where Mrs. Broadnax never dusts) and put them on the leaf pile! Did away with them. It was with considerable relief that I put away childish things. It seems right to burn diaries in the autumn when there are so many other burnings. When people on the street sniff the burning pile and say, “What a good smell” I can say “That’s Jeff and Harvey and that English kid who pretended he was the Lost Beatle and all those other small-town idiots I can’t wait to leave behind.” Tra la for autumn madness, new notebooks and new adventures! Tues. Sept 8 – 64 Well it’s happened. That thing I fought so long: I am crying. Next to pain, disbelief is my strongest emotion. There is no getting around it. I looked in the mirror and I am ugly. Mom offered to trim my hair – I was losing my flip – and I thought she actually would but she cut it so short its not even short length. It just looks stupid. You can still see the scars of the summer’s impetigo all around my mouth. (Mom calls it a “deficiency” disease! Great!) Can you imagine arriving the first day of school with a deficiency disease and stupid hair? And now my eyelids are swollen and my nose is purple! Can I rise above this? At least in my dreams I am beautiful. I’m exhausted from a day of shopping, sitting at my desk in my rabbit slippers in my own little room. Tired of wrestling with Mom over clothes, as usual. Finally got her to buy me a decent pair of heels and some black underpants (for my exotic moods.) I lost on the black party dress even though I promised to take the rose off the shoulder. All she will buy me are horrible Villager, John Meyer and Walter Lanz desecrations that make teenagers look like members of the golf club. At least she let me buy makeup to cover my impetigo and a powder blue cardigan I really like which will look good once I shrink it. Genevieve caught me in the bathroom trying it on backwards and she said nobody wears cardigans backwards and if you wear your circle pin anywhere but at the collar of your cardigan it means you’re not a virgin. (Also if you wear your kilt pin upside down.) I said everyone in France wears their cardigans backwards and nobody in France is a virgin. Mom and Dad say I need a “progressive” school because I am creative and Genevieve needs a “snob” school because she is smart. Unfortunately for us both it’s the same school. Next-door creep Avery raked my diaries out of the leaf pile but they were too burned to read hahaha. He will never know whether I wrote about him or not, the little grossness. (He chests his pants.) How he would love to be preserved for posterity. Fri Sept 11, 64 So many days since I wrote! It shows how exciting my life has been. My only problem is my roommate who seems to come from another planet. But I want to write about everything. Wed AM I woke up early, washed my hair in beer, put Dep on the ends and set it on orange juice cans. This really seems to work – it held the flip till almost noon. I had to drag the hairdryer out of my trunk where it was mixed up with all the unspeakable hockey things they make you buy. Had my breakfast under the hairdryer in my room because I didn’t want to hear Daddy’s remarks idiot women whose hairdryers melted on their heads, burned their hair off leaving only a scarred patch, welded orange juice cans to their skulls, etc. etc. Then my sister’s boyfriend Granger showed up. My parents really like Granger but the joke’s on them. They are allowing Granger to drive me and Genevieve to school for reasons I’ll never understand. He drives like a hellion and makes “vroom vroom” noises with his mouth like a little boy. I hope none of the other boys at school are this disgusting. He and Genevieve are perfectly suited for each other however. Neither know the meaning of true maturity. Plumly is NOT a pretty school but I’d seen it before so it was not a shock. It looks like a prison out of Dickens. Why don’t they just call it “The Workhouse.” (Oh no! Don’t send me there!) However the trees are pretty and at least it has a lake. My roommate Thekla is an albino. When she is speaking I am just staring at her wondering what its like to have pink eyelashes and not do anything about it. She is very religious and says if I say “Jesus Christ!” one more she will report me; that it’s wrong to use the Lord’s name in vain. How does she know its vain? Aren’t you supposed to call on your savior in times of trouble? I’m in trouble a lot. Also, this is supposed to be a progressive school – my father says “Jesus Christ” all the time and he is very progressive. I think I am going to lose this one because Thekla is from Nebraska. She is like one of those frontier women who stand in the middle of fire, water and Indians and never get budged or scraped. I am writing with a flashlight under the covers and Thekla would be threatening to report me if she was awake. Fortunately she snores – it’s very handy for knowing if she is asleep or awake. My Big Sister came to visit me. They are assigned to you to show you the ropes. Her name is Lauren and she is so cool it hurts. She came in wearing one of our awful gym suits and on her it looked good. She has cut the sleeves off and ripped the bottom into fringe. She says I will get a big brother named Larry Murchenwold and he is a WOLF so I’d better be careful! Great to go to a little school where everyone knows everyone and you don’t need to waste time on trial and error. She showed me how to write a KOB (these are the notes sent from Girls’ End & Boys End at night.) You have to fold them a certain way or people think you’re queer. Also never use the Senior Stairs. (Boys who do this at boys’ end get their heads SHAVED. At Girls’ End things are more ladylike. They just cut up your underwear when you are out of the room. (Obviously I’m going to need some better underwear.) My first sight of the freshmen boys was a big disappointment. They are such babies I assumed they must be visiting. Some have feet, which do not touch the floor when they are seated, others were crying for their mommies. The really tall one chests his pants! Lauren says sometimes the senior boys ask younger girls out. Let’s hope so. That never happened at my old school. The very nicest seniors are all taken. There is even one who looks like Jeff Hunter, my favorite movie star. (Genevieve dropped Granger like a hot potato because he has a girlfriend!) So far no sign of my personal Big Bad Wolf. I don’t think he is taking his Big Brother job seriously!
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Alysse Aallyn
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