Wed. 12:30 AM 9 Aug 72
Wish Tamsin hadn’t suggested I write for children. Too many “twinkling eyes” for me. It would have to be a “horror” story. Of some kind. A modern day Alice. 2:30 PM – Cory’s trailer Nashville, TN Thurs 10 Aug 72 Hardest cross to bear is my TOTAL lack of creativity. Go where I’m sent and stay where I’m put. Despise myself. Bruce drove too fast to get here from Glen Burnie – I was nervous the whole way. He even made me feed him while he drove: “The driver’s comfort is paramount.” Cory has visiting relatives staying in another trailer – they invited us sightseeing with them. Said we were too tired. Shoshanna briefly said hi, talked about getting breast implants (she’s so excited about it) and went to work. Cory wanted Bruce to play his new stuff so Bruce hauled out his customized, personalized NBN – Cory very impressed. Likes When the Blues Turn Blue the way it stands – wants new lyrics to the Pony Express one. They learned Buddy Holly’s That’ll Be The Day and the Beatles In My Life. They sound good together. Bruce plays Chelsea Morning on the mandolin. Cory is playing in a barroom tonight but doesn’t want us to come – too shaming. Now they’re off to play songs for Mary Travers – in case she wants anything – so I have a moment for a shower & scribble. Trying to write a poem about Bruce but can’t – feeling soggy and mentally “dispossessed”. 11 Aug Fri – 5:25 PM Bad news buried in good news – RCA exec saw Cory & Bruce at the bar last night (Bruce playing brilliant bottleneck on Medicine Girl) and asked them to play “original material”. They played You Know Me and Rose & Me. Exec guaranteed that some established artist will want to cut those songs!!! 10:10 PM – Sun 13 Aug 72 I’m ready to leave. We are too crammed in, every time I move I bang my head, there’s always someone in the bathroom and K’s relatives won’t go away. To go from Pewter Hill Park to a trailer is quite a change. I am never alone, and sex is impossible. (The moment everyone leaves Bruce and I fall on each other all over the living room tearing at each other’s clothes like a pair of famished wolverines.) I guess this is what a tour would be like (plus more drugs, worse food and an even higher proportion of idiots.) Maybe when I am 40 and have five children I will feel differently but right now, when we’re in love, sending the beloved away seems like insanity. But if that’s what Bruce wants… I am reading Hope Muntz’s Golden Warrior – Bruce tried Peaceable Kingdom but says omniscient narration hopelessly passé. I don’t agree. How about the “collective unconscious”? What would it say? I’ve got him there but only because he can’t think up an answer, not because he agrees. In peaceful disagreement, we digest six pounds of Tennesseans instead. Spent all day yesterday at Opryland (which gave me a pounding headache) then had a splendid chicken dinner and went to the King Richard (it ought to be called Poor Richard’s) to hear Cory & Bruce play. Cory had the sense to call old singing partners Richard Carpenter and John Logan who now form Carlo Sound. (They used to be in the Chad Mitchell Trio all clean-cut with banjos and striped shirts!) I didn’t tell them I knew nuns that liked their music. Everybody played (Bruce on mandolin) – they regaled the whole bar till 3:30 AM – nobody wanted to leave – it was magnificent! God I love Bruce and am so proud of him. Can hardly believe that face & body – that brain – belong to me. Finished Golden Warrior – stilted language. Edith Swanneck a little too like Melanie in Gone With the Wind. A dish of sacrifice is best served – frozen. (Or thrown out.) Now Bruce says he wants to visit Bud & Honor! More nights of sleeping on a couch! Plus Honor is jealous of everybody and takes the desire to be alone for five minutes as a personal insult. On the other hand in a week I’ll be at Pewter Hill with my beautiful Avril. Wed 16 Aug 72 – 3:00 PM RCA man Dan Hoffman is ratcheting things up – no front money but he thinks Cory has three solid hits. (No word yet where Bruce fits.) Naturally Cory wants to leverage this into a bigger, more expensive tour. Bruce has changed the strings on his guitar and now he’s changing Cory’s – they need to practice Rose & Me for the agents meeting. Cory & Shoshanna got into an immediate fight (right in front of us) because she wasn’t enthusiastic enough (“don’t you roll your eyes at me!”) I understand – it’s the lack of money. “You do all the work and maybe…” is hard to hear when there’s bills to pay. The argument really was Cory’s fault. At a certain point he’s thinking a “loyal wife” would “fake orgasm” over his news. To him it’s better than money to hear Dan say “including you we have the four best writers in Nashville” and “You can write circles around Kristofferson.” To his wife, words are cheap. 10 PM Gorgeous dinner at the Bavarian village for some reason got my sexual juices flowing – realizing that Cory and I are in a subtle battle over Bruce & his magnetism. (It’s funny, Bruce & I ought to be battling over Cory’s “status” focus”.) When we got back to the trailer and they started rehearsing I began a new story about three people in love. Three people could be “in love” (very Colette) but what happens when two of them form a more secret alliance? (Secret alliances breed secret alliances. Period.) Might they not want to murder the innocent third, and feel very justified about keeping the dead lover “innocent” forever in the world of pure sharing, outside the cruelty of greed & exclusion? Called TripleTrack at the moment…
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Alysse Aallyn
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