Tues. Dec 13 – 66
Reed Hambro asked me to the Christmas Dance and I said No. Aynsley (who favors him) said Why on Earth and I said because he needs someone to take care of HIM and I need someone to take care of ME!! The theme of the dance was An Old Fashioned Christmas so I took the job of barmaid handing around birch beer. For an old fashioned barmaid I did a lot of dancing (with Brice the new speech coach.) Next night was The Santa Clause Masque – a stupid play, if you ask me. My part goes, “Knowledge has taken love out of the world and the world is empty, empty, empty…” Do they HEAR themselves? I guess art is about other people – unfortunates we can feel smug about. We don’t NEED art because we’re perfect! 3 weeks work up in smoke. At least it’s snowing. I like snow. Beauty, strength silence – it has all the good qualities. Wed 14 Dec 66 – 2 PM Feeling sick after reading Rabbit Run. It’s a Forbidden Book which means they keep it in the Librarian’s office and you need your parents’ permission to read it. Otherwise I wouldn’t have bothered. Character describes his wife as a “white, pliant machine for mating, hatching and feeding”. Yuck. I used to want six children but now I’m wondering. I’m starting too think women are worse off than Negroes. Negroes can go to Africa but women have no country. I am a Human Being. I intend to lead a full intellectual, artistic and emotional life. Those uninterested in the Entire Package need not apply. 11PM Reed sent me such a sweet KOB. My heart leaps As a pebble will do after sitting two days In a glass of still water. For the legion of the sixties is clashing with its foes Marching to inevitability & failure. Rationalizing & nationalizing its ineptitudes Treading mercilessly on inferiors Leaping At the drop of a penny and Leaving a cavity gold could not fill. As I sit in my army blanket The torchbearers approach Glory heads, holding Exiled pedagogues captive with Their faithful frightful faces Whose drab accoutrements dissolve I know all and yet I will not speak out. Only the hues of night will know They are the base I am the apex. I could name A hundred faces in between. I must judge iniquities of façade & mind Doomed to live a life A hypocrite could recognize. Life goes one and Life goes on and Venus will never know. Wow! I will date any boy who writes poetry this good. Pebbles don’t leap but still. He uses the word “accoutrements”! However he No Longer Believes in Dating. Couldn’t we just Show Up somewhere at the Same Time? No, we could not. He handed it in and got an A. I write 101 Things Wrong With This School and got an F.
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Alysse Aallyn
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