On the Gryphon, Sassafras River, MD Sat 10 May 69
So cold I HAVE to write. I’d rather sunbathe but there’s no sun. Vicious wind so I’m down below! Wearing wildly flowered bellbottoms and navy jacket, hair in a messy bun. Sore from another bad night with Skip. He’s hopeless, alas. I tried to deny it to myself. Mistake. It’s so different when you love them. Skip says he “worries” about me. But the better we know each other the less we can discuss. Chewing off my nails. 10PM - Furious at Mom & Dad. They wanted to go to bed at nine and screamed at us for staying up later! So I write by flashlight. Dad’s personal violence is at considerable odds with his philosophical stance. Turgenev says everyone’s happiness is dependent on someone else’s unhappiness. So enjoying Kafka’s run on sentences. Sun AM 11 May 69 Finally hot sun, bare feet, maneuvering boat to moor against Count Crespi’s yacht. 11:30 PM Pewter Hill –Mon 12 May 69 Mom sends Dad to tell me my late hours are having a “bad effect” on Avril. I can tell he thinks its bogus. Se trembles with disgust for fear people are Seeking Out Sex. She just can’t shake it. What a curse. Dad says, “What’s going to happen to Skip when you unload him? He’ll go into shock.” I explain about Dartmouth: means nothing about Dad whose generation used Absence to grow Fonder. Not working for any of us so far. Then since I hadn’t turned off the TV he said he “couldn’t compete” and vanished. I wish I could explain about Devon but they consider him Not to Be Thought of (because of Bizarre Religious Background.) It would take too much work all to convince them I’ve been dumped by someone worthless. It’s funny that Dad takes Skip’s side when Skip represents everything he loathes. Long letter from Watson declaring his love. Absence makes his heart grow fonder! Unfortunately he’s off his rocker. I wrote back that NO MATTER WHAT Devon says I consider his friends off limits. Saw Virgin Spring tonight. Magnificent. Thurs 15 May 69 Cancelled Montreal. It just seemed crazy. Haven’t written anything in so long, can’t even seem to get my papers organized. Finally some decent sex with Skip – we made out – he wanted to go home – I accused him of being afraid of my parents – he said, “That’s it” stomped upstairs and stripped naked! I shouldn’t have gotten into this but now that I have – let’s breathe some life into it. He’s actually more fun angry than tender. Finished Beardsley’s Venus & Tannhauser – boring. The Real Sarah Bernhardt somewhat better.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
Alysse Aallyn
Archives
September 2022
Categories |